Do you see others get what they want in their relationship, but you can’t seem to
“Crack the Code” for yourself?
Maybe you’ve experienced, or are experiencing:
- Disappointment in love.
- A deep hurt from a break-up and are afraid to trust again.
- Lack of communication and feel you aren’t being heard.
- Loneliness, even though you might be in a relationship.
- Having the same old argument over and over with no resolution.
- Lack of intimacy and passion.
- Picking the same kind of negative person again and again.
- A yearning for acceptance and tenderness.
- Feelings of insecurity and jealousy.
- Being blamed and criticized, or visa versa, blaming and criticizing your partner.
- Indecision on whether to stay or leave.
Shattered dreams leave you feeling emotional pain.
When you first fall in love and the passion is high, there is almost nothing that feels better! But when your hopes and dreams of a loving relationship fall short due to a variety of painful circumstances and/or events, there is almost nothing more painful.
It can consume your thoughts causing distractions, which can lead to poor job performance, interfere with good parenting, and cause isolation from friends and family.
It can cause physical and emotional stress reactions such as headaches, sleep disturbances, lack of appetite or overeating, excessive use of alcohol or smoking, and other negative forms of acting out—all of which cause Pain!
Feelings of grief and loss after a break-up are normal and very common.
It’s important that you allow yourself time and ask for comfort from family and friends in order to properly mourn the loss of the relationship.
Not only have you lost your partner, but you have lost your relationship identity, you may have lost your home and income, and often times a break-up can ignite old memories of other losses.
Understanding one of the main problems in not getting what you want in relationships.
One of the biggest misperceptions (error in thinking) that women have is their thought and belief that their partner is responsible for their happiness.
It’s not your fault thatyou think this way!
Our whole culture is programmed to believe that our happiness is dependent on people and circumstances outside of ourselves–like our job, how much money we make, our spouse, our kids, our parents, where we live, etc.
Once you start shifting this “old belief” toward an understanding of how you are responsible for your own happiness, then you can experience real freedom, and that’s when you can develop an authentic relationship. A relationship that is mutually respectful, caring, and loving.
One of the top needs of women is having a “loving connection.”
When this need is not fulfilled it causes emotional pain, feelings of insecurity, sadness and anxiety.
Whether you are struggling with the relationship you are in, or if you are attempting to find the right partner, you are most likely experiencing the lack of a loving connection.
My experience in grief work has helped me understand how powerful those feelings of connection are and more importantly how to help you do the healing work around this issue.
You CAN have what you desire in a relationship!
A simple 2 step approach in achieving a successful relationship.
To understand these 2 steps, you must understand that there are 2 parts to your mind, the conscious and the subconscious.
- The conscious mind is the logical part that you are consciously aware of. You can on purpose pick and choose what it is that you want to think.
- The subconscious mind is that part of you that you are not fully aware of, but that influences your feelings and actions. This is why you may do things or get results that you say you don’t want—it’s your subconscious programming that is actively getting those negative results you say you don’t want, and you don’t have any conscious awareness of this.
We work together to understand how these 2 parts work together so you can then:
#1. Actively and “on purpose” change your habit of thinking negative thoughts (conscious mind).
i.e. Go from thinking, “I’m not good enough and I’ll never find love,” to thinking, “I am lovable and I am whole.”
#2. Clear out your “old unhelpful beliefs” that you aren’t even aware of (subconscious mind) that keep you trapped in your negative habits, feelings, and results.
i.e. Go from mostly feeling sad and lonely to mostly feeling happy and surrounded by loving friends and family.
As we work together on these 2 steps simultaneously, you will experience some of these new positive ways of relating.
You will:
- Automatically start attracting the kind of person that is best suited to you.
- Stop blaming yourself and/or your partner.
- Be able to communicate more authentically and ask more directly for what you want.
- Experience more passion and intimacy.
- Get resolution and relief from your old arguments.
- Have less feeling of insecurity and jealousy.
- Start trusting again and be willing to take some risks at love.
- Be more loving without needing something in return.
You will also gain valuable inner personal strength and growth.
You will:
- Start getting clarity on how you sabotage yourself, and stop.
- Stop feeling alone & lonely & start enjoying your own company, as well as, your friends & family.
- Be more confident and stand up for yourself.
- Not care so much what other people think.
- Feel emotional freedom and have more joy in your life.
If you are struggling with your relationships and are tired of the emotional pain—know that:
It doesn’t have to be that way and you CAN get out of the old patterns!
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO NOW?
- If you haven’t already done so, sign up for my Newsletter and FREE report via the opt-in box at the top of this page.
- Join my Facebook page, Twitter, and/or Blog for on-going tips, articles, and conversation.
- If you are ready to make a 20 minute free confidential consultation either by phone or in person to discuss how we might work together to improve your relationship issues, call or email me at: 310-890-9831 or Cindy@CindyKludt.com
I am committed to your success!
Cindy Kludt,
LMFT